


I Died Today

by LokisSoftSide



Category: Tom Hiddleston - Fandom
Genre: Desperation, F/M, Hurt, I'm Sorry, Loss, Loss of Faith, Love/Hate, Memories, Original Character Death(s), Pain, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-01
Updated: 2016-04-01
Packaged: 2018-05-30 15:15:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6429598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LokisSoftSide/pseuds/LokisSoftSide
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>*TRIGGER WARNING*</p>
<p>Attempted suicide in this story which leads to death by it.  Please if this is a trigger for you, don't read any further. I would not want to hurt anyone with the words in this fiction, so please take care if you do read and if you need help please use the following:</p>
<p>Suicidal?<br/>Need Help Now?<br/>Call 911<br/>or<br/>1-800-SUICIDE<br/>(1-800-784-2433)<br/>or<br/>1-800-273-TALK<br/>(1-800-273-8255)<br/>or<br/>Text Telephone:<br/>1-800-799-4TTY<br/>(1-800-799-4889)</p>
<p>Military Veterans<br/>Suicide Hotline:<br/>1-800-273-TALK<br/>(Press 1)</p>
<p>Suicide Hotline<br/>in Spanish:<br/>1-800-273-TALK<br/>(Press 2)<br/>LGBT Youth<br/>Suicide Hotline:<br/>1-866-4-U-TREVOR</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Died Today

**Author's Note:**

> This is a little something I wrote because I was feeling down. It in no way is a real life situation. No one was actually harmed and I do not own Tom Hiddleston or anything associated with the man. This is pure fiction and no money is made from this work.

I Died Today

 

Cold and Dark. Our room…the one we shared for so long. Sitting on the edge of the bed now, watching him pack his things. He was leaving. No matter how many tears I shed, no matter how much my heart was breaking, I did nothing to stop him. I already missed him. Already missed the laughs we shared, the love we made. All of our memories were now just that, memories of a better time.

I left him to wander through the house, the pictures of us hanging from the walls, letting my fingertips slide along them as tears rolled faster down my cheeks. The smiles looking back at me seemed to be haunted. I would never take them down because taking them down would mean I’ve accepted defeat. I couldn’t stop him from leaving, it was what was best for the both of us.

I closed my eyes, letting the memories of his touch slide over my skin like a light breeze sending shivers up and down my spine. Leaving goosebumps upon my flesh as I let them take me to a better time. His smile when we first met, the sweetness that dripped from him when he first spoke to me. His voice like the sweetest music to my ears making my heart leap for joy. The butterflies in my stomach as he first touched me, his hand only skimming down my back to pull me closer to him as we made our way to the dance floor. The grace of his movements as he led us in a dance, bodies only touching in the appropriate way for public but close enough so I could feel his breath against my neck when he spoke softly to me words of admiration. 

I would never feel his touch again. I would never feel his body against mine. Never hearing those sweet words of love whispered to me in the middle of the night as we lost ourselves in passion. My body already ached with the pain of losing someone I had let through my walls. He tore them down and I never put up a fight. They crumbled at his feet as I was now crumbling. Our lives were changed with mere words speaking truth.

His words stung like being slapped across the face with an open palm. The hateful way we spoke to each other was filled with as much passion as the words of love we once shared. The hurt in his eyes, the emotion on his face as I slayed him over and over again with the most hateful and spiteful words I could find in the moment of sheer agony when I realized that I lost him. I saw his smile now turned away from me, his lips, those beautiful lips that once graced mine were now stiff with anger, pain and sadness. 

My feet were padding against the wooden floor, cold to the touch as they made their way towards the only thing that would numb, that would tear away from him the love as he tore it away from me. The pain of losing him was too much. I would never love again. Every time someone would kiss me, it would be his lips I craved, every time they would touch me it would be his hands I would so selfishly want against my skin. He would haunt every dream, every waking thought if I went on without him. 

A glass of water with a handful of my medication. Enough to make sure that I never woke up from this nightmare. A day without him was like minutes and hours of not breathing. He was my hands, my feet, my legs, my arms and now they were being torn from my body. The pain would never end. Oh why did we fight? Why did we say such hateful things to each other? Why do we play this sour game of love and hate with each other?

I wandered out to living room, letting myself glide along the wooden floor, no sound but the soft brushing of feet against it. I lie down against the coldness letting it seep into my veins. I heard him, softly speaking to me as my eyes rested on his one last time. I could see the recognition in his eyes as he pulled me up against his chest. I felt his soft hands against my skin as he moved my hair out of my face to look at me.

“Oh you silly girl what did you do?” I smiled at him as he said those words. He only called me a silly girl when he was mildly upset with me. I could see the tears starting to form in his eyes as I lifted my hand to his cheek to rest it there as I spoke to him.

“You are my everything. My life. The stars in the sky and the sweet breath of a breeze on a hot summer’s day.” I stopped to take a deep breath before continuing and I felt his hand come up to my cheek as he looked into my eyes. “I can’t live with the pain of knowing how much I hurt you, of how I ruined us with mere words. Just know Thomas that you gave me everything you had and I took it all. Greedy and selfishly I stole from you the last 8 years of your life. I love you so much. And now it’s time for me to give you back the life you deserve. A life without me. A chance at real happiness.”

“You silly, silly girl. I love you.” His tears were flowing freely from his eyes, sliding down his cheeks.

“I love you Tom…” My last words as I closed my eyes and was finally free of all the pain.

Today was the day I died. Selfishly I died in his arms.


End file.
